ya, so its raining. This is not just any rain, this is the "rainy season". You open any calendar in Japan and the picture for the month of June & July will inevidably be an image of a geisha with an umbrella or some such wet image. This is not like the kind of rain I am used to in Vancouver. It is more like a monsoon. The air is hot and sticky as the rain comes down in absolute torrents.
I was riding my bicycle today. I have just begun to feel proud of the fact that I have "mastered" the art of riding with one hand holding an umbrella while the other holds a handlebar for dear life. But, then the "rainy season starts" and here I am trying to balance 2 grocery bags on both handlebars, hold only one handlebar, not poke passers by with the edges of my yellow umbrella, while at the same time move in a straight line through a wall of rain. Don't even ask how I stop at red lights or navagate corners. I don't. I had two near collisions today with pedestrians who yelled "Abunai desu yo!!" (that is dangerous!) at me. Oh dear. Maybe I am not such a master of the one-handed-bike-riding thing, yet, afterall.
To make things worse, with the beginning of the "rainy season" also comes the beginning of the "bug season". Here is a lowdown on what I mean by the little (seemingly innocent word) "bug".
1. I have COCKROACHES!! *screams*
[warning: long-winded cockroach story ahead]
Yes, I saw my first one about a month ago. It was stairing up at me from, of all places, the BATHTUB! (arn't someplaces sacred??). I was actually on the phone with my friend Fred at the time and (after some hyperventalating...after all, this is only the SECOND cockroach I have EVER SEEN IN MY WHOLE LIFE!). I ran and got a large kitchen knife. I will spare you the details, but needless to say, that cockraoch would have no more baths in my tub again!
I saw the second cockroach in my apartment a few days ago. I opened up the cupboard below my sink in my kitchen and the little guy looked up at me innocently. Immediately I grabbed for the handy massive kitchen chopping knife, but the litter bugger had magicly scampered away into some unkown crack and vanashed. Bugger.
Luckily, my predessesor who lived in this apartment had left me a large arsenal of anti-bug remidies. One such thing was a package of little roach motels. So I popped one open and stuck it in the cupboard and hoped for the best.
That night, I had a horrible dream that a cockraoch was climbing over me in my sleep (I have a futon so I sleep right at cockroach level...).
The next day, I was at one of my schools and related my "tales of cockroach woe" to the english teacher I was working with, Shindo Sensei. She related the following tale to me...
"Your predessor Eric had a girlfriend. One day she was in his apartment (now yours) and she was brushing her teeth. She was sitting on their bed. She happened to look behind her and suddenly she saw a cockroach stairing back up at her from the pillow with beady eyes!! She threw her toothbrush down and started screaming. So, of course, Eric grabbed the kitchen knife and attacked the cockroach".
Oh dear. Of course this little tale did little calm my near-panic.
So, today, I saw my 3rd cockroach (maybe the same bug that got away last time). I had opened the cupboard below the sink and suddenly he jumped out and ran acroos the kitchen floor and under the fridge. So, what about my little roach motel? I peeked in and (woot!) a lil baby cockroach had checked in.
I feel like I should be keeping a running tally
ME vs Cockroach
2 - 2
(aka 2 escapes/2 catches)
I will beat these buggers if its last thing I do!!
2. There are mosquitos EVERYWHERE...i currently have about 5 bites. One got me right on the cheek and I have a huge swollen red bump now (it looks like I just got punched in the face...charming).
3. Ants. Yesterday I was at my computer and an ant just walked by me like it was totaly normal to be hanging out in my apartment. I always leave my sliding doors open, but with the screen doors shut. But, this lil guy must have found his way in through a crack. Later on, on the same day, i was in the kitchen and I saw a little black ant climbing up my counter trying to get at my stash of rasins. eeeek.
IM BEING INVADED by BUGS! *waves a little flag in an attempt to call a truce*
*The lil bugs have a collective laugh at my misery and continue on in their evil buggy ways*
Oh, in other less buggy news. I am tickled happy because I got a flapper costume today for my burlesque debut on July 14th in Tokyo.
Here is the details of my costume (do not read if you live anywhere near Tokyo and want to see me perform...its a surprise for you)
- buttercup yellow long sleevless top trimed in white lace.
- white lace trimed slip to go beneath
- flesh-toned, just past the knee stockings with black hem running up the back
- white flapper-style heels
- white boa
- long shimmery beaded necklace
- white lacy garter
- and other unmentionables ;)
I will be performing to the song "Ooh La La" by Goldfrapp
My new moto:
Be fabulous & fearless
Good times.
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2 comments:
Before committing yourself to do battle with the cockroaches there are a few things I think you should be aware of. The first and most important of which is the undeniable fact that cockroaches are superior to homo sapiens in almost every category. They have existed on this planet for over 300 million years and have shown a remarkable adaptability, flourishing in almost every square mile of the globe except the polar regions and diversifying themselves into approx 3500 distinct species. there's simply just no way to beat them at the extermination game. They are also quite clean animals only posing a health risk to asthmatics as they have been shown to trigger asthma attacks in young children, but then so does dust/ car exhaust/household cleaners etc. But aside from that they are perfectly harmless and even posses a certain rugged beauty (see "Naked Lunch"). My suggestion is that you make peace with them in the context of clearly defined rules. Most animals are smarter then you think. If you tell them, "OK you mad roaches, here's the deal: you don't go in my toilet/bathtub/sink/bed and I won't poison/stab/crush you to death", they will consider this a fairly good deal. I learned this trick of negotiation with the deer flies and mosquitos of Northern Manitoba some years back and I still use it all the time. But it only works if you negotiate in good faith without condescending them. It may sound crazy but it's really the only way. You can't beat them. They've had too much of an evolutionary head start on us. Long after we've made ourselves extinct, the cockroaches will still be there. This is their planet and they know it. All we can do is sue for peace and try to live and let live with they, our insect masters.
Hahahahhaeehehehehe, oh your blog gave me a chuckle! And "dharma Bum" yes I know who you are, teehee, what you wrote is hilarious but oh so true! I personally am phobic of cochroaches. We had them in one of our apartments in Burnaby and moved out in 2 weeks. yes, I could not take it. Perhaps, I need to conquer this fear...like I used to be afraid of crickets because they look like cochroaches to me. I think it's the antennae or something. Anyhow, I am no longer afraid. Weird thing is I have never been afraid of grasshopper and aren't crickets pretty much the same thing? So this is all just pcychological. Sigh...bugs..such is life.
I have mosquitoe bites too. They really love me. Hrump!
Well, Grace that was certainly a hilarious story. I love the way you write. So funny. I could totally picture it. :)
Sending positive thoughts your way!
Carissa
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